Six Jokes in Seven Minutes


Here is a collection of six (hopefully intelligent) jokes that count to my favorites. I don’t know if you consider them funny or not, in any case they should give you something to think as well.

This time, it is something different! Do you want to listen to a few jokes? Here is a collection of six (hopefully intelligent) jokes that count to my favorites. I don’t know if you consider them funny or not, in any case they should give you something to think as well.


OK, this time I’m going to try out something different, I want to tell you a few jokes. Yes, you heard correctly.

Now there is a small problem to that – I think that these jokes are funny, but maybe you don’t think that they are. Well….. tough luck for me. I any case I can’t year you not laughing, so it is not embarrassing for me if you don’t laugh.

There is a second hitch to it as well…. some of the jokes are a bit difficult to understand, does not matter, at least I can laugh at them myself.

Here is the first one, and as a matter of fact, it’s not by me but by a philosopher called Ludwig Wittgenstein, I took the freedom to change it around a little, the original is a bit different but the idea is the same.

There are two people sitting in a garden in the shadow of a tree, the sun is shining, maybe occasionally an apple is falling from the tree, and one of them keeps repeating the words “I know that this is a tree”, “I know that this is a tree”, “I know that this is a tree”, “I know that this is a tree”, “I know that this is a tree”. The second person listens and nods. “Yes, this is a tree.”, “yes, you are right, the tree exists” “this is really a tree.”

A third person comes along and watches the conversation, and asks: “Are you two OK? Can I help you somehow?” Shall I call for help?

They laugh and say, oh, we are both completely fine, we are not crazy. We are just having a little Theory of Knowledge conversation.

End of Joke. I can’t hear you laughing.

In any case here is Joke number 2, it’s a little more advanced. It’s a math joke.

An infinitely large group of mathematicians visits a bar. Apparently they just came from a math congress, some kind of meeting, where they discussed some important concepts, and now it’s time relax a bit. It’s kind of tight in the bar, with the group being so large, but the real problem is a time problem. Because the group of mathematicians is infinitely large, it would take an infinite amount of time to order the drinks. And this is of course not very practical, because some of them would have to wait too long, and tomorrow the meeting continues.

Now they have to find a solution to this problem and start to discuss. After a few minutes one of the mathematicians walks up to the bartender to place an order. He says: “I want to order orange juice for the whole group (here I need to comment that alcohol is a no-no because the mathematicians don’t want to damage their brain cells), that’s why they chose orange juice. He walks up to the bartender and says – I want to order juice for the whole group, but not everyone is equally thirsty. Give me one glass of juice for the first person, only half a glass of juice for the second person, one-fourth of a glass for the third person……. Stop! Interrupts the bartender. I understand what you mean. I’ll give you two glasses of orange juice.

End of Joke. I won’t explain it. You do the math.

Joke 3 is a short one: If there are 5 people in a room and 6 people walk out, then one person has to walk back into the room so that the room is empty.

Obvious is it not?

Joke 4: This is a psychology joke. Actually it is from a cartoon that I once saw. But first some background information. Do you know what a Skinner Box is? It is a cage where psychologists keep animals, usually mice, or rats or pigeons, to study their behavior. When the animal behaves correctly, usually by pushing a certain button, then the animal receives a reward, some food. And the scientists study how often the animals push the button.

Anyway, There are two mice sitting in the Skinner Box and every time when one mouse presses a button the scientist gives them some food. One mouse says to the other: “Look how well I am able to control the behavior of the scientist! Every time when I push the button he gives me some food”.

Joke 5: How does a mathematician catch a lion in the desert? The mathematician constructs a cage and sets it up in the desert. He then locks himself up inside the cage. When he sees a lion outside of the cage, he simply inverts the space. The lion is then inside the cage and the mathematician is outside….

Is this a good one? I don’t know.

Joke 6: The last one is my favorite.

A biologist, a physical scientist, a mathematician and a philosopher are riding in a train to visit a congress in a different country. As they are driving along and looking outside the window, they see a black swan. A swan is a type of bird, in case you have never seen one. Ha! says the biologist, the swans are black here and not white, like at home. I did not know that! I learned something!

The physical scientist looks at him and responds: you are generalizing! How can you say that the swans are generally black in this country, you have only seen one of them! You are ignoring the others! You should say, “there is at least one swan, that is black”!

Now the mathematician was shaking his head and he also had something to say. “Still, this is not quite correct.” he said. “You are jumping to an early conclusion as well”. If you want to be really correct about it, then you should say, “There exists at least one swan which is black on at least one side of its body”.

Now the philosopher was moving around on his seat nervously, and one could see that he was irritated by the conversation. He said: “How do you know that this was a swan?’

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We can understand almost anything, but we can't understand how we understand.

- Albert Einstein -